From A Trans Ally’s Perspective: A Tribute To Estrella Star

Let me preface this by saying…anybody that really knows me, knows that I spent a rough couple of years in my mid twenties homeless and destitute. And although it was an extremely difficult ordeal to have to go through; that has been a big part of my story & evolution as a person. Interestingly enough though, that chapter was also the place where I was for the first time introduced to (as RuPaul puts it) my tribe.

So in honor of Pride month, I’d like to highlight an old friend: Estrella.

Estrella is the Spanish word for Star. We called her these nicknames interchangeably and it suited her to a Tee. Star was the first trans woman I’d ever met and she was fabulous. She was hilarious and had such a fun energy about her. And even though there was a bit of a language barrier between us (although her English was indeed WAY better than my Spanish) I thought she was the bees knees. We were even shower buddies (often showering in adjacent stalls to girl talk and crack jokes with each other.)

The type of shelter we were assigned to had a lot of the (and I’m really trying to not sound like an ageist here) “baby boomer generation” clients, many of whom had some type of physical or mental disability. And the ones who didn’t fit that description were just simply nosey and uncouth. They would inquire as to where exactly Estrella was physically in her transition to womanhood. They would complain to staff about how she had no business being there since she wasn’t born that way. They would pretend to be nervous about their safety around her.

So bottom line…
Regardless of their sexual orientation, trans women have a right to seek and be granted access to shelter in accordance with their gender identity. A women’s shelter is in fact the proper place for them to be. It amazes me how people still don’t realize how dangerous a situation it creates for a trans woman to be placed in a men’s shelter.

I just want to say to all my fellow biological, cisgender women out there…relax. The trans community already has enough that they’re going to have to deal with. None of them are out here trying to plot and scheme on just how they’re going to sexually assault us. And stop discrediting their identity when you interact with them. Using the proper pronoun is not that difficult.

Lastly, it’s also very disheartening to witness just how shelter staff fail to serve the trans community due to general lack of awareness or perhaps even their own willful ignorance. Estrella ended up not staying there for very long. I’m not sure if she was transferred or what but I sure do hope she’s doing well.

Sending my love and good vibes to you Estrella Star. And may the fierce be with you.

XoXo

Original Post Date: June 30, 2017